Katie is awesome. For many reasons. Including:
Can I drunk dial you on New Years? Just a heads up because last year I called everyone and their dog walker.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
ghoulish hosebeast
i spent much of today cruising the internet. am now trying to figure out whether this was an enjoyable day of checking out or a large crapfest of uncomfortable procrastination. who can say?
the best thing i watched today was about poetry. i generally don't like poetry, and it seems the makers of this video share my opinion.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Las Vegas Sallie upon being invited to see Cirque du Soleil when they come to Our Fair City
I think this one is the short run BananaHammock tour, which is the practice for their resident Vegas event, The Gauzy Nipple Experience.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
roll over, Lincoln
"We were in the middle of a corruption crime spree, and we wanted to stop it," U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald said, calling the charges against Blagojevich "a truly new low." He added: "The conduct would make Lincoln roll over in his grave."
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/10/us/politics/10Illinois.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
How cool that a US Attorney says stuff like that. He might as well say, "Book 'em!" or something else hard-boiled.
I enjoy Patrick Fitzgerald immensely. Not only because he has this Takes on the Big Boys On Behalf of the Little Guys image. And not only because he's most known for giving Bush's puppeteers a good prodding over the Valerie Plame outing. But mainly because he was really cool as a guest on the show Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. If you're looking for an entertaining podcast for a slow day, I highly recommend it.
[*update* fixed link to Blagojevich story.]
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Las Vegas Sallie was supporting me tonight while I was charting
Me: I should have stuck my finger up her butt...
Las Vegas Sallie: [strained look of surprise and polite interest]
Me: She had this really chunky--
Las Vegas Sallie: No.No.No.No.No. Keep it inside. Keep it deep deep inside. Sometimes silence ISN'T violence.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Tail End Of An E-Mail I'm Proud To Have Written
We really can get along with alien species. Kumbaya and such.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
From another time
The pirating news coming from the Middle East is so surreal. Couldn't this have been printed in a newspaper a couple hundred years ago, instead of posted to the Yahoo news website today?
NEW DELHI – An Indian naval vessel sank a suspected pirate "mother ship" in the Gulf of Aden and chased two attack boats into the night, officials said Wednesday, as separate bands of brigands seized Thai and Iranian ships in the lawless seas.
And don't you think the little grey AP writer was tickled to finally slip brigand into an article?
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Lil Luvables Stuffer Fluffy Factory 4 Pack
Am having a v.busy morning watching Kewlopolis on CBS. Just finished watching Cake. Was already feeling a tad negative, and this shit isn't helping. Hell in a handbasket, people. For example:
"Lil Luvables Stuffer Fluffy Factory 4 Pack. Stuff your bear with love and care with Lil Luvables Fluffy Factory. Add a lil wish and then you're done, the adoption certificate is proof of fun. Now you have your fluffy friends, collect them, dress them, the fun never ends. Includes Lil Luvables Fluffy Factory with storage drawer, 3 adoption certificates, 3 bear skins, 1 safety zipper key, 1 brush, fluffing, 1 stuffing tool and lil wishes. No batteries needed. Assembly required. For ages 4 and up."
Um, wow. Fluffy factory to puppy factory to puppy mill. So that's bad.
Creating a friend for yourself out of store-bought items. Storing your friends' skins in a drawer. Inflating a friend by hooking her butt up to a machine. Using nonexistent words such as Lil. Oh dear. Handbasket, people. It's a pull the covers over my head kind of day.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Malt Worker's Lung. Sounds like a cool disease, doesn't it?
And a cool job. "Oh, me? I'm a malt worker. And you? An accountant. How interesting."
It turns out to be more properly called:
Extrinsic allergic alveolitis
From http://www.agius.com/hew/resource/lung.htm
"Extrinsic allergic alveolitis can be caused by sensitisation to many organic dusts mainly fungal spores, e.g. farmer's lung and malt worker's lung. It tends to affect the respiratory units of the lung rather than the conducting airways and may have 'flu' like symptoms in addition. In some respects it is similar to humidifier fever which might be caused by sensitisation to amoebae or algae.
Inhalation of oil mists may cause asthma, airways irritation, lipid pneumonia or other conditions depending on their composition."
So yeah, kind of serious actually. Sorry, dudes.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
two quotes from today's media intake
Soup was the original meling pot.
-Alana Sugar, Whole Foods podcast
Doog! It ain't got no genitals!
-Vinnie, Doogie Howser
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
DSM-IV on Schizophrenia:
Only one Criterion A symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person's behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other.
The more I learn about the definitions of mental illnesses, the distance between "us normal people" and "those crazy people" narrows. How many times have your thoughts bordered on the criteria above?
**late edit: and yes, I know that a schizophrenic's clearly audible voices differ from my internal monologue. but yet again we get into finer and finer gradations to differentiate between different places on the same spectrum.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Sarah on the topo map:
One does want a hint of color.
Her follow-up:
I think I've been spared a great deal of brutality by being born a girl.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
DuClaw Brewing Co, this means you
"just because you work at a restaurant with 2 capitals in the name doesn't mean you're better than me."
-katie
Thursday, October 02, 2008
dennis quaid can't help it but he consistently overacts. am watching him in smart people and he's trying so hard to look impotent and mousy that he ends up larger-than-life. and isn't his ex-wife's smile being plastic-surgeried into a version of poor mr. quaid's? bad enough to have your wife r.u.n.n.o.f.t. on you, and then she starts trying to look like your evil twin? bad form.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Enjoying http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/09/16/the-30-worst-autobiography-pun-titles/
Favorites include #11: Wink Martindale — Winking At Life
and #3: Mike Catt — Landing On My Feet
Also #21: David Hasselhoff — Making Waves. Love that man for just this kind of self-indulgent malarkey.
Friday, September 19, 2008
"It happens to be one of those days when I see everybody in the family, including myself, through the wrong end of a telescope."
And then on top of that I watched The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, a film about a man whose mind is intact but everything except one eye is paralyzed. I see why people described it as surprisingly uplifting. But now I'm sitting at Panera and everyone's craggy faces and awkward shoulders seem irrepressibly beautiful to me and kind of bittersweet. So to further steal from Salinger:
"Listen, I don't care what you say about my race, creed, or religion, Fatty, but don't tell me I'm not sensitive to beauty. That's my Achilles' heel, and don't you forget it. To me, everything is beautiful. Show me a pink sunset and I'm limp, by God. Anything. 'Peter Pan.' Even before the curtain goes up at 'Peter Pan,' I'm a goddam puddle of tears. And you have the gall to try to tell me I'm--"
"Oh, shut up," Mrs. Glass said, absently.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
all day
creation happened all day on oct 23rd apparently. not just some 6pm - 7pm commitment. an all day thing.
i feel so left out sometimes, being protestant and all. stuff like this just won't ever make sense to my little anti-papist brain.
correction:
according to this site, creation is celebrated all month. not for just 7 days, though. that would just be silly.
and apparently the month has evolved (see what i did there?) into a celebration of conservation efforts. so bully to that.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
long time listener, first time caller
StankAss has requested that I give her another, less insulting nickname. I attempted to explain that the nickname was so presposterous as to be funny, but she persisted. My blog is barely a toddler and I have already bowed to censorship. StankAss has vanished and been replaced with the shadowy figure Las Vegas Sallie. Because it's a funny name.
(Why is it not okay to use the word materiel in coversation and yet very okay to make obscure references and links on my blog? Totally different. Completely. No similarities. Not showing off one bit. How dare you say so. Go soak your head. Harumph.)
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Somewhat nuts guy (aforementioned) told me today about a white supremacist plot to get us to take medicines (which are all poisons). Plot includes calling it a PHARMacy so that it sounds like something natural like a FARM. (No, I couldn't make this up.)
Yet another conspiracy I wasn't included in. I knew there was something going on when I went to the White People in Medicine conference this year and they locked me out of that giant ballroom.
Isn't my job awesome? Right now, I wouldn't trade this for anything else.
Monday, September 01, 2008
things not worth getting worked up about
no one ever, in the history of ever, has needed to use the word materiel. if you don't know what this word means, you're not alone, because it's not a commonly used word. words that aren't commonly used shouldn't be thrown about, because they make people feel bad. unless we magically get rid of class and education and wealth disparities, we'll never get rid of people feeling less smart than others. so save words like materiel for that biography you're writing on Corporal 9th Class Fyodor "Stump" Tagliofugliowitz and his daring defeat at Slippery Hill and stop showing off.
that is all.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Las Vegas Sallie and I were driving back from an emotional weekend in miles of traffic (5 hour trip took us 7 hours), so we were semi-comotose when we stumbled into a Burger World to pee. It was only after we ordered some refreshment that we realized this wasn't your average Burger World. It was the creepy "local color" customized version in Quantico, Virginia.
Las Vegas Sallie knows all the words to the Marines' Hymn. Where do you learn that when you grew up surrounded by pinko liberals?
(Link to above slideshow if your browser is being ignorant: http://www.flickr.com/photos/79213232@N00/2810395929)
Friday, August 29, 2008
Theo Harris wants to come to your house and watch you sleep. While crooning Korn songs softly over you. And then he'll paint the inside of your medicine cabinet a soft yellow with pus he drained from his abscesses fresh that morning. Something to remember him by. Or maybe he'll just drive around your neighborhood with his customized van. You'll happen to gimpse it at the grocery store or the video store or the post office, or wherever you happen to be. He'll be there.
His website would also like to invade your home. He paid some two bit web company (operated out of someone's den) way too much to type his name into their generic realtor-template website.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
was told today that there's a conspiracy made up of doctors who communicate through phones and computers about how to keep all of us down. when i pointed out that i work in the medical field and i'm not in this conspiracy, the patient told me that i'm a good person so they left me out.
i was strangely touched.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Apparently Johnny Carson at one point issued a list of answers that journalists could use for any questions they liked. The list:
1. Yes, I did.
2. Not a bit of truth in that rumor.
3. Only twice in my life, both times on Saturday.
4. I can do either, but I prefer the first.
5. No. Kumquats.
6. I can't answer that question.
7. Toads and tarantulas.
8. Turkestan, Denmark, Chile, and the Komandorskie Islands.
9. As often as possible, but I'm not very good at it yet. I need much more practice.
10. It happened to some old friends of mine, and it's a story I'll never forget.
He really covers all the bases, doesn't he? Wouldn't it be cool to walk into a job interview and hand over these answers? Or a first date? Or a meeting with a new colleague? The possible places to use the list are endless.
(Learned of this in afore-referred-to book by Kenneth Tynan.)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
So I'm reading this book by Kenneth Tynan. It's a delightful book in which he chronicles rare geniuses he has known and supped with. However he seems to have spent so long competing with others with huge egos that he is completely unaware of how abnormal and small his world is. So with a breezy laugh he writes the following:
"You could list their qualities in parallel columns:
Gielgud Olivier
Air Earth
Poet Peasant
Mind Heart
Spiritual Animal
Feminine Masculine
John Philip Kemble Edmund Kean
Introvert Extrovert
Jewel Metal
Claret Burgundy"
Yes, Kenneth, that makes it all clear. Claret v. Burgundy. Do you ever wonder, Kenneth, why people stare blearily at you when you try to make chat on the train? Poor Kenneth. I think it genuinely confuses him. (Or it did, until he died 26 July 1980.)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
targeted advertising
apparently the software in the walgreens targeted coupon generator decided that after a day of combing the nits out of my family's hair, i'd want to relax with 12 oz of walgreens coffee.
p.s. you just scratched your head, didn't you? i did too. all day. so did my patients. the ones with the resistant lice. yes, resistant to traditional lice treatments and most insecticides that are safe for humans. you just scratched again, didn't you? me too.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Phil Collins is still my main man for overwrought lyrics and delivery, but I'm branching out to others like Mr. Mister for further teenage-style emoting.
Today I've found a new band to adore. And man, do they suck. But in a delightful way.
You may recognize their song Hands to Heaven, but Will The Circle Be Unbroken is also awesome.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Coolest Monkey
My headboard was big and black and a little overwhelming, so with Las Vegas Sallie's assistance I applied some vinyl stickers to it this weekend. I love how it came out.
Next up is to apply the godwit stickers to the other side. So they can watch me sleep.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Despite my best efforts to resist, I love LOLcats. I spent some procrastination time today reading Anil Dash's respectful analysis of the LOL culture. And then I followed some links to these much less erudite but fucking hilarious creations:
*nice to see unguarded moments of joy in these guys.
*i wish i could have more pity for the poor woman, and i did up until about 3 months ago.
*never thought of the similarities before.
*the wise dude i pay to listen to me once a week often reminds me of the difference between childlike and childish. childlike is great, childish is something to be left behind. the humor in this one is definitely childish. but it made me laugh out loud in the cold dark office i'm sitting in. (self pity is never very appealing. so why do we engage in it so often?)
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
dinner
bowl of canned refried beans with cheese and salsa on top + glass of milk + two calcium tabs = one healthy babe
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
speaking of marketing
so, yeah, some marketing makes it seem like they crawled into my head, and then there's this. who thought "for one" was a good idea to print on the front of anything?
"you don't have to share this" -great angle
"for you to eat alone in your studio apartment which doesn't allow pets while waiting for that semi-cute guy you gave your number to at that bar last week to call" -shitty angle
(my thanks to remora for the techical assist on getting this from my phone to the blog. she may be old, but she's handy.)
This green tube arrived in the mail with no warning last week.
It's as if these faceless gray corporate marketing people have crawled inside my head, painted the walls a matte red, decorated solely with Pottery Barn furntiure and knick knacks, and have started spawning faceless gray children to crawl about in my synapses. Why do these fuckers know what I like? Why? And why do I love their marketing so?
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I nearly died.
Captions considered but discarded for this picture:
Found on my wall this weekend.
This is what mauled me . . . but now I'm better.
I nearly died.
This picture means nothing without perspective. So you see those little specks of gray next to the beast's feet? Those are people.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Each of the above witticisms have been discarded in favor of informing you that I stood in front of this evil behemoth for about 5 minutes trying to will myself to place the bowl over it and slide the Netflix envelope under it and just get it the hell out of my house. But I just couldn't do it. I laughed ruefully and yielded the field to the hellion. When I came back an hour later it was gone. Probably to lie in wait for me in my pillow or my underwear drawer.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Identities: Individual, Cultural, National . . .
Thumb drive schwag for a conference my dear remora attended. Could the conference title be any more awesome? Encompassing absolutely every possible topic, and leaving room for infinity plus one with that ellipsis.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The one time my friend Mary contacted her ex-husband after he divorced her was when she learned that he had served his mother dinner on paper plates. She called him up and said, "You go out right now and you buy a set of plates and a set of silverware. You are never allowed to serve your mother on paper plates. Ever."
I have to admire strongly held opinions, even when I don't share them. She still gets indignant about the plates some 15 or 20 years later.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
The Source magazine. Which bills itself as The Bible of Hip-Hop Music. I was reading it in the grocery store checkout and was highly entertained. There were some well written reviews and interesting interviews. And then I came to this:
"Purple Haze
Hip-hop has helped popularize the rise of cough syrup abuse with people nationwide. But with syrup-related deaths becoming more frequent, it’s time to investigate." [The rest of the article is after the jump, if you're interested.]
So I know it must be difficult to attempt to educate people on the effects of these drugs while not appearing to criticize the people who choose to use them. And it also must be a challenge merely to imply (instead of shouting) that promoting use of this drug isn’t a socially responsible thing to do. And to say those things without sounding like a cheesy after-school special? Also difficult. I’ve already achieved the exact tone of “Schoolboy Father” and I’m only five sentences in. But come on. This stuff is one step up from drinking Sterno or hand sanitizer. How can you even try to write a balanced, pros and cons article about it?
Review some main points with me now:
“. . . is a potent cocktail consisting of codeine (which comes from opium) . . .”
My dear granny, while dead, still knows that codeine is an opiate. So I’m betting your readers do too. Skip that stunning scientific explanation.
I can’t even review any more main points. Typing the whole article into a word document has pissed me off too much. I shall summarize and then go lecture the children in front of my building on proper hand hygiene and safe sex like the old grumpy busybody I am.
Summary: Good effort, Source magazine. You obviously have good intentions, namely to educate people on what sounds cool but turns out to be pretty bad for you. But you waffled your way into saying nothing. [Cue thunderclap for my cutting ending.]
Purple Haze
Hip-hop has helped popularize the rise of cough syrup abuse with people nationwide. But with syrup-related deaths becoming more frequent, it’s time to investigate.
Whether it’s a 40 oz bottle of malt liquor, a gold bottle of Ace of Spades champagne, a weed leaf on a classic album cover or a rapper telling you how to roll a blunt, Hip-Hop’s tendency to promote drugs and alcohol is nothing new. But rarely is the subject as potentially deadly as the combination of codeine/promethazine. Whether it’s called barre, syrup, purple, lean, or most famously, sizzurp, the drug cocktail is gaining in popularity, partially through its presence in Hip-Hop.
Unfortunately, lean has already played a roll in the deaths of three Hip-Hop stars. While, at best, the drug was only a contributing factor to the untimely passing of Houston icons DJ Screw, Big Moe and Pimp C, the fact is autopsies showed that codeine/promethazine did play some part. The truth is, this stuff, although it tastes sweet, can kill you.
The prescription cough syrup used by ‘barreheads’ is a potent cocktail consisting of codeine (which comes from opium), promethazine, (which is an antihistamine that causes drowsiness and slows breathing), and 7% alcohol, all of which is found in the thick syrupy mixture. According to Ronald Peters of the University of Texas at Houston, who recently led two major studies on codeine/promethazine consumption among high school kids and college students in the “City of Lean,” this problem is out of control.
“Through my research, a lot of the kids stated they found out about it by listening to the music. How you mix it, and how you do it,” Peters claims.
The novelty of the drug has extended as far as lean-scented air fresheners and a similarly colored cognac liqueur called Sizzurp Purple Punch, which was championed by Cam’Ron and Jim Jones. In 2002, Screwed Up Click member, Big Moe, who passed just months before Pimp C, named his second album Purple World in 2002. And DJ Storm’s Drank Epidemic sounds more like Houston’s public health problem, than a popular southern mixtape series.
Screw music namesake, DJ Screw’s creation of his pitched down, slow dragging remixes in the early ‘90’s is seen as the watershed moment in melding codeine/promethazine with rap lyrics. Today DJ Michael “5000” Watts screws and chops R&B and rap songs for four hours every Sunday on Houston’s 97.9 The Box. He think the syrup and Screw music connection is played out. “There are a lot of people who listen and enjoy screwed music. Not everyone is on syrup,” he says.
Hitmaker and lead sipper Paul Wall remembers Lil Keke and Fat Pat talking about lean as far back as 1992 on Screw’s mixtapes. “Call Up On Drank,” a Screw tape that featured Mike D and Fat Pat was one of these tapes. But the abuse of cough syrup didn’t start there. Lil Keke, who’s set to drop his first major release on Universal Motown later this year, says his father and uncle would sip codeine/promethazine straight. “We invented the syrup with Boone’s Farm, and then that moved to syrup and soda. When it his syrup and soda, that’s when it blew up.”
Wall believes syrup sipping didn’t start to break out of the Houston underground until two songs came along. On Jay-Z’s seminal “Big Pimpin,” Pimp C raps, “Smokin’ out, pour’n up / Keepin’ lean off in my cup . . . “ The following year, Three 6 Mafia borrowed from Houston street culture and featured UGK and Project Pat on “Sippin on Some Sizzurp.” The song again featured Pimp again: “I got that red promethazine, thick orange and yellow ‘tuss.”
Wall is a ten year devotee of the purple stuff. He prefers it mixed with vanilla soda and represents Houston’s lean culture not only by talking about “purple oil” lyrics, but also with his jewelry: a 4 oz. diamond-flooded syrup-sipping cup. “The thing that I do on the regular, that I most enjoy is definitely sipping syrup. I don’t look at it like it’s a problem, it isn’t ruining my lie.” But keeping it honest, he adds, “I’m definitely addicted to it, but I enjoy being addicted to it.” He admits the side effects are still there, “The worst thing about it, with me being a go-getter, is it be hard to get up.”
“I know it’s irresponsible for me to promote things that can have a negative impact. And syrup can definitely have a negative impact like weed and alcohol. The only way to justify it is to say, man, gotta know when to say when.”
Officials in Pimp C’s death say that if he hadn’t had the drug cocktail in his system, there’s a good chance we would still have him around. Says Ed Winter of the LA County coroner’s office, who acknowledges Pimp C died of a combination of his sleep apnea and syrup sipping, “People shouldn’t just avoid this stuff because Pimp C died, they should never be drinking it.”
Monday, April 14, 2008
romantic ideals
Me: So there's a TV I want to buy on craigslist. Will you go see it with me Tuesday night?
Las Vegas Sallie: Sure. What time?
Me: The guy's roommate gets home around 6 but he gets home around 8, so how about we aim for 8?
Me: Wouldn't it be awesome if this was our meet cute and we both fall in love with these roommates and get married and make babies?
Las Vegas Sallie: Yeah! And you know what would be even more awesome? If you get a TV out of it too.
on the topic of ideals, for a more plausible romantic story: click here
please be sure to turn up the volume on your computer to experience the fabulousness.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
So the right honorable Las Vegas Sallie has a job which currently requires her to review medical charts as well as call surgery patients at home. Some of her favorite finds from actual medical charts are copied here.
Insightful Medical Poetry Note of the Week:
The anterior mitral leaflet looks fluffier than it did a couple years ago.
Hilarious Medical Note of the Day:
Intermittent delirium and agitation continues but I have not heard any bloodcurdling screams the last several hours.
Hilarious Participant Quote of the Day:
Hey, babe. You sound pretty sexy to me! I’ll take your phone call any time!
Hilarious Participant Quote of the Year:
When this is all over, honey, I’ma take you out to dinner.
Repulsive Op Note Description of the Week:
Lot of greasy fluid was aspirated with a trash sucker and then the blood in the aneurysm sac was aspirated.
Although we mock, here’s one from someone using his/her head to give great care:
Patient states she is having pain in neck but cannot rate her pain on a scale of 0-10. Behaviorally appears to have 4/10 pain. Administered 25 mcg of fentanyl and 650 mg of tylenol. Will continue to monitor pain level closely.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
and forever
Who came up with this? Who even attempted to put a positive spin on something that involves bloating, pain, incontinence, staining and fetid smells? Who is that stupid?
Also, never noticed the little infinity symbol above the always brand name. You'll always have periods, so just suck it up until menopause? We were there to make your grandmother feel like she was straddling a mattress and we'll do the same for your daughters too? Or is it code for The Infinity Consortium, a Franco-American septumvirate of multi-million dollar companies who are plotting to control the entire cotton industry by the year 2030? You be the judge.
Friday, March 21, 2008
sounds of one klassy babe babysitting, as told to me later when there were no children about, thankfully
skidda marink [pause]
ee dink ee dink [knowing look]
skidda marink [big pause for effect]
ee doo
iiii [cloying smile]
looooove [looks around for recipient, points]
you
skidda marink [we all know what's coming next]
ee dink ee dink [smug grin]
skidda marink
ee dooooo [giant pause for effect, then attack]
iiiiiiiii looooooove [mystified look at shocking disappearance of object of affection]
[moment of realization causes delighted trill]
yooooooouuuuu!
[jazz hands]
Thursday, March 20, 2008
So Blurbomat linked to Charlie Haden, whom I looked up because I need something to listen to while I do distasteful work. This gentleman seems to have led a full life, and has produced some very hip children:
"His son Josh Haden is a bass guitarist and singer. He recorded with 1980s punk band Trecherous Jaywalkers (who recorded for SST Records), and is presently a member of Spain. His triplet daughters, Petra, Tanya and Rachel Haden, are all musicians. Formerly of that dog., Petra was a member of progressive folk group The Decemberists, Rachel was a founding member of rock band, The Rentals, and Tanya is married to actor Jack Black." -wikipedia
Playing 6 Degrees From Kevin Bacon must be really boring in that family. "Yeah, Judy went with him and Kyra to Aspen last week. You didn't get a postcard?"
While listening to Mr. Haden's collaboration with Pat Metheny, Beyond The Missouri Sky, via my father's account with a Russian underground music emporium, I discovered that he has a song called The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.
I am in love with the kind of bullshitty shroom-dream kind of poetic stylings that title implies. Who sits down and writes a title like that? Who can stare the prospect of being a cliche straight in the face and say "Ah, fuck it. This is deep and the world needs to hear my thoughts." Or perhaps these poetic stylists have an impenetrable denial built up against any possiblity of their being full of shit. Where do they get this denial? May I have some, please?
Friday, March 14, 2008
she vants to be alooon
Was changing my clothes after work today and gave my shirt the old sniff test to determine re-wearability. It smelled of desperation and poverty. This job is getting to me today.
So I'm taking to my bed.
More accurately, I'm off to the couch with a mug of Edy's Tagalong ice cream and that movie about ping pong (or table tennis, whatever) that has Christopher Walken in it. I shall emerge when there is no more abject poverty in America. Or maybe just when my butt goes numb. Whichever happens first.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The Channel 13 I-Team Investigates:
Malibu rum. Makes you think of some nice gentleman, bronzed by the sun, who sits beneath one of those palm trees on the label, making rum for you and me.
The label even claims that the bottle contains the spirit of the Carribean.
However a closer look by this inquisitive reporter, with your best interests in mind, reveals an import location a little closer to home.
We suggested a redesigned label to more accurately protray the source of the rum. One possible label:
The Channel 13 I-Team will report periodically on the status of the Malibu redesign. We're on the case!
So proud.
Anotha dolla earned. But I thought we outgrew this kind of thing in the 3rd grade?
(There was a sale on black bars, so I bought a bunch.)
Thursday, March 06, 2008
capitalizzzzm
*The Faculty-Resident Behavioral Curriculum Mini-Retreat is scheduled for March 9th.
*I received an e-mail today asking for my opinion on the draft 402b policy.
*I need to call Simpkins in Accounting to get my 339 re-routed to the PLS821.
I made that last one up, but this jobby job brings me ever closer each day to this:
Monday, February 25, 2008
following an invitation to participate in a homeless advocacy march:
"Are we going to get arrested?"
"Whose idea was this?"
"Can I wear high heels and Anne Taylor while I march? Cause them's my marching clothes."
"5th Annual? Are they aware that the previous four didn't work? There are still homeless people."
"Of course I'll go participate in some hippie-ass jim-crackery. Absolutely."
And she meant it.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Mac
So women who approach Kevin Spacey often think he's gay.
"For them it's a challenge. They want to be the one to turn me around. I let them."
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,84635,00.html
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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