Enjoying http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/09/16/the-30-worst-autobiography-pun-titles/
Favorites include #11: Wink Martindale — Winking At Life
and #3: Mike Catt — Landing On My Feet
Also #21: David Hasselhoff — Making Waves. Love that man for just this kind of self-indulgent malarkey.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
"It happens to be one of those days when I see everybody in the family, including myself, through the wrong end of a telescope."
And then on top of that I watched The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, a film about a man whose mind is intact but everything except one eye is paralyzed. I see why people described it as surprisingly uplifting. But now I'm sitting at Panera and everyone's craggy faces and awkward shoulders seem irrepressibly beautiful to me and kind of bittersweet. So to further steal from Salinger:
"Listen, I don't care what you say about my race, creed, or religion, Fatty, but don't tell me I'm not sensitive to beauty. That's my Achilles' heel, and don't you forget it. To me, everything is beautiful. Show me a pink sunset and I'm limp, by God. Anything. 'Peter Pan.' Even before the curtain goes up at 'Peter Pan,' I'm a goddam puddle of tears. And you have the gall to try to tell me I'm--"
"Oh, shut up," Mrs. Glass said, absently.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
all day
creation happened all day on oct 23rd apparently. not just some 6pm - 7pm commitment. an all day thing.
i feel so left out sometimes, being protestant and all. stuff like this just won't ever make sense to my little anti-papist brain.
correction:
according to this site, creation is celebrated all month. not for just 7 days, though. that would just be silly.
and apparently the month has evolved (see what i did there?) into a celebration of conservation efforts. so bully to that.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
long time listener, first time caller
StankAss has requested that I give her another, less insulting nickname. I attempted to explain that the nickname was so presposterous as to be funny, but she persisted. My blog is barely a toddler and I have already bowed to censorship. StankAss has vanished and been replaced with the shadowy figure Las Vegas Sallie. Because it's a funny name.
(Why is it not okay to use the word materiel in coversation and yet very okay to make obscure references and links on my blog? Totally different. Completely. No similarities. Not showing off one bit. How dare you say so. Go soak your head. Harumph.)
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Somewhat nuts guy (aforementioned) told me today about a white supremacist plot to get us to take medicines (which are all poisons). Plot includes calling it a PHARMacy so that it sounds like something natural like a FARM. (No, I couldn't make this up.)
Yet another conspiracy I wasn't included in. I knew there was something going on when I went to the White People in Medicine conference this year and they locked me out of that giant ballroom.
Isn't my job awesome? Right now, I wouldn't trade this for anything else.
Monday, September 01, 2008
things not worth getting worked up about
no one ever, in the history of ever, has needed to use the word materiel. if you don't know what this word means, you're not alone, because it's not a commonly used word. words that aren't commonly used shouldn't be thrown about, because they make people feel bad. unless we magically get rid of class and education and wealth disparities, we'll never get rid of people feeling less smart than others. so save words like materiel for that biography you're writing on Corporal 9th Class Fyodor "Stump" Tagliofugliowitz and his daring defeat at Slippery Hill and stop showing off.
that is all.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Las Vegas Sallie and I were driving back from an emotional weekend in miles of traffic (5 hour trip took us 7 hours), so we were semi-comotose when we stumbled into a Burger World to pee. It was only after we ordered some refreshment that we realized this wasn't your average Burger World. It was the creepy "local color" customized version in Quantico, Virginia.
Las Vegas Sallie knows all the words to the Marines' Hymn. Where do you learn that when you grew up surrounded by pinko liberals?
(Link to above slideshow if your browser is being ignorant: http://www.flickr.com/photos/79213232@N00/2810395929)
Friday, August 29, 2008
Theo Harris wants to come to your house and watch you sleep. While crooning Korn songs softly over you. And then he'll paint the inside of your medicine cabinet a soft yellow with pus he drained from his abscesses fresh that morning. Something to remember him by. Or maybe he'll just drive around your neighborhood with his customized van. You'll happen to gimpse it at the grocery store or the video store or the post office, or wherever you happen to be. He'll be there.
His website would also like to invade your home. He paid some two bit web company (operated out of someone's den) way too much to type his name into their generic realtor-template website.
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