Captions considered but discarded for this picture:
Found on my wall this weekend.
This is what mauled me . . . but now I'm better.
I nearly died.
This picture means nothing without perspective. So you see those little specks of gray next to the beast's feet? Those are people.
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Each of the above witticisms have been discarded in favor of informing you that I stood in front of this evil behemoth for about 5 minutes trying to will myself to place the bowl over it and slide the Netflix envelope under it and just get it the hell out of my house. But I just couldn't do it. I laughed ruefully and yielded the field to the hellion. When I came back an hour later it was gone. Probably to lie in wait for me in my pillow or my underwear drawer.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I nearly died.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Identities: Individual, Cultural, National . . .
Thumb drive schwag for a conference my dear remora attended. Could the conference title be any more awesome? Encompassing absolutely every possible topic, and leaving room for infinity plus one with that ellipsis.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The one time my friend Mary contacted her ex-husband after he divorced her was when she learned that he had served his mother dinner on paper plates. She called him up and said, "You go out right now and you buy a set of plates and a set of silverware. You are never allowed to serve your mother on paper plates. Ever."
I have to admire strongly held opinions, even when I don't share them. She still gets indignant about the plates some 15 or 20 years later.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
The Source magazine. Which bills itself as The Bible of Hip-Hop Music. I was reading it in the grocery store checkout and was highly entertained. There were some well written reviews and interesting interviews. And then I came to this:
"Purple Haze
Hip-hop has helped popularize the rise of cough syrup abuse with people nationwide. But with syrup-related deaths becoming more frequent, it’s time to investigate." [The rest of the article is after the jump, if you're interested.]
So I know it must be difficult to attempt to educate people on the effects of these drugs while not appearing to criticize the people who choose to use them. And it also must be a challenge merely to imply (instead of shouting) that promoting use of this drug isn’t a socially responsible thing to do. And to say those things without sounding like a cheesy after-school special? Also difficult. I’ve already achieved the exact tone of “Schoolboy Father” and I’m only five sentences in. But come on. This stuff is one step up from drinking Sterno or hand sanitizer. How can you even try to write a balanced, pros and cons article about it?
Review some main points with me now:
“. . . is a potent cocktail consisting of codeine (which comes from opium) . . .”
My dear granny, while dead, still knows that codeine is an opiate. So I’m betting your readers do too. Skip that stunning scientific explanation.
I can’t even review any more main points. Typing the whole article into a word document has pissed me off too much. I shall summarize and then go lecture the children in front of my building on proper hand hygiene and safe sex like the old grumpy busybody I am.
Summary: Good effort, Source magazine. You obviously have good intentions, namely to educate people on what sounds cool but turns out to be pretty bad for you. But you waffled your way into saying nothing. [Cue thunderclap for my cutting ending.]
Purple Haze
Hip-hop has helped popularize the rise of cough syrup abuse with people nationwide. But with syrup-related deaths becoming more frequent, it’s time to investigate.
Whether it’s a 40 oz bottle of malt liquor, a gold bottle of Ace of Spades champagne, a weed leaf on a classic album cover or a rapper telling you how to roll a blunt, Hip-Hop’s tendency to promote drugs and alcohol is nothing new. But rarely is the subject as potentially deadly as the combination of codeine/promethazine. Whether it’s called barre, syrup, purple, lean, or most famously, sizzurp, the drug cocktail is gaining in popularity, partially through its presence in Hip-Hop.
Unfortunately, lean has already played a roll in the deaths of three Hip-Hop stars. While, at best, the drug was only a contributing factor to the untimely passing of Houston icons DJ Screw, Big Moe and Pimp C, the fact is autopsies showed that codeine/promethazine did play some part. The truth is, this stuff, although it tastes sweet, can kill you.
The prescription cough syrup used by ‘barreheads’ is a potent cocktail consisting of codeine (which comes from opium), promethazine, (which is an antihistamine that causes drowsiness and slows breathing), and 7% alcohol, all of which is found in the thick syrupy mixture. According to Ronald Peters of the University of Texas at Houston, who recently led two major studies on codeine/promethazine consumption among high school kids and college students in the “City of Lean,” this problem is out of control.
“Through my research, a lot of the kids stated they found out about it by listening to the music. How you mix it, and how you do it,” Peters claims.
The novelty of the drug has extended as far as lean-scented air fresheners and a similarly colored cognac liqueur called Sizzurp Purple Punch, which was championed by Cam’Ron and Jim Jones. In 2002, Screwed Up Click member, Big Moe, who passed just months before Pimp C, named his second album Purple World in 2002. And DJ Storm’s Drank Epidemic sounds more like Houston’s public health problem, than a popular southern mixtape series.
Screw music namesake, DJ Screw’s creation of his pitched down, slow dragging remixes in the early ‘90’s is seen as the watershed moment in melding codeine/promethazine with rap lyrics. Today DJ Michael “5000” Watts screws and chops R&B and rap songs for four hours every Sunday on Houston’s 97.9 The Box. He think the syrup and Screw music connection is played out. “There are a lot of people who listen and enjoy screwed music. Not everyone is on syrup,” he says.
Hitmaker and lead sipper Paul Wall remembers Lil Keke and Fat Pat talking about lean as far back as 1992 on Screw’s mixtapes. “Call Up On Drank,” a Screw tape that featured Mike D and Fat Pat was one of these tapes. But the abuse of cough syrup didn’t start there. Lil Keke, who’s set to drop his first major release on Universal Motown later this year, says his father and uncle would sip codeine/promethazine straight. “We invented the syrup with Boone’s Farm, and then that moved to syrup and soda. When it his syrup and soda, that’s when it blew up.”
Wall believes syrup sipping didn’t start to break out of the Houston underground until two songs came along. On Jay-Z’s seminal “Big Pimpin,” Pimp C raps, “Smokin’ out, pour’n up / Keepin’ lean off in my cup . . . “ The following year, Three 6 Mafia borrowed from Houston street culture and featured UGK and Project Pat on “Sippin on Some Sizzurp.” The song again featured Pimp again: “I got that red promethazine, thick orange and yellow ‘tuss.”
Wall is a ten year devotee of the purple stuff. He prefers it mixed with vanilla soda and represents Houston’s lean culture not only by talking about “purple oil” lyrics, but also with his jewelry: a 4 oz. diamond-flooded syrup-sipping cup. “The thing that I do on the regular, that I most enjoy is definitely sipping syrup. I don’t look at it like it’s a problem, it isn’t ruining my lie.” But keeping it honest, he adds, “I’m definitely addicted to it, but I enjoy being addicted to it.” He admits the side effects are still there, “The worst thing about it, with me being a go-getter, is it be hard to get up.”
“I know it’s irresponsible for me to promote things that can have a negative impact. And syrup can definitely have a negative impact like weed and alcohol. The only way to justify it is to say, man, gotta know when to say when.”
Officials in Pimp C’s death say that if he hadn’t had the drug cocktail in his system, there’s a good chance we would still have him around. Says Ed Winter of the LA County coroner’s office, who acknowledges Pimp C died of a combination of his sleep apnea and syrup sipping, “People shouldn’t just avoid this stuff because Pimp C died, they should never be drinking it.”
Monday, April 14, 2008
romantic ideals
Me: So there's a TV I want to buy on craigslist. Will you go see it with me Tuesday night?
Las Vegas Sallie: Sure. What time?
Me: The guy's roommate gets home around 6 but he gets home around 8, so how about we aim for 8?
Me: Wouldn't it be awesome if this was our meet cute and we both fall in love with these roommates and get married and make babies?
Las Vegas Sallie: Yeah! And you know what would be even more awesome? If you get a TV out of it too.
on the topic of ideals, for a more plausible romantic story: click here
please be sure to turn up the volume on your computer to experience the fabulousness.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
So the right honorable Las Vegas Sallie has a job which currently requires her to review medical charts as well as call surgery patients at home. Some of her favorite finds from actual medical charts are copied here.
Insightful Medical Poetry Note of the Week:
The anterior mitral leaflet looks fluffier than it did a couple years ago.
Hilarious Medical Note of the Day:
Intermittent delirium and agitation continues but I have not heard any bloodcurdling screams the last several hours.
Hilarious Participant Quote of the Day:
Hey, babe. You sound pretty sexy to me! I’ll take your phone call any time!
Hilarious Participant Quote of the Year:
When this is all over, honey, I’ma take you out to dinner.
Repulsive Op Note Description of the Week:
Lot of greasy fluid was aspirated with a trash sucker and then the blood in the aneurysm sac was aspirated.
Although we mock, here’s one from someone using his/her head to give great care:
Patient states she is having pain in neck but cannot rate her pain on a scale of 0-10. Behaviorally appears to have 4/10 pain. Administered 25 mcg of fentanyl and 650 mg of tylenol. Will continue to monitor pain level closely.
