Sunday, March 23, 2008

and forever


and forever, originally uploaded by stinky296.


Who came up with this? Who even attempted to put a positive spin on something that involves bloating, pain, incontinence, staining and fetid smells? Who is that stupid?

Also, never noticed the little infinity symbol above the always brand name. You'll always have periods, so just suck it up until menopause? We were there to make your grandmother feel like she was straddling a mattress and we'll do the same for your daughters too? Or is it code for The Infinity Consortium, a Franco-American septumvirate of multi-million dollar companies who are plotting to control the entire cotton industry by the year 2030? You be the judge.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

sounds of one klassy babe babysitting, as told to me later when there were no children about, thankfully

skidda marink [pause] 
ee dink ee dink [knowing look] 
skidda marink [big pause for effect] 
ee doo
iiii [cloying smile] 
looooove [looks around for recipient, points] 
you
skidda marink [we all know what's coming next] 
ee dink ee dink [smug grin] 
skidda marink 
ee dooooo [giant pause for effect, then attack] 
iiiiiiiii looooooove [mystified look at shocking disappearance of object of affection]
[moment of realization causes delighted trill] 
yooooooouuuuu! 
[jazz hands]

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

So Blurbomat linked to Charlie Haden, whom I looked up because I need something to listen to while I do distasteful work. This gentleman seems to have led a full life, and has produced some very hip children:

"His son Josh Haden is a bass guitarist and singer. He recorded with 1980s punk band Trecherous Jaywalkers (who recorded for SST Records), and is presently a member of Spain. His triplet daughters, Petra, Tanya and Rachel Haden, are all musicians. Formerly of that dog., Petra was a member of progressive folk group The Decemberists, Rachel was a founding member of rock band, The Rentals, and Tanya is married to actor Jack Black." -wikipedia

Playing 6 Degrees From Kevin Bacon must be really boring in that family. "Yeah, Judy went with him and Kyra to Aspen last week. You didn't get a postcard?"

While listening to Mr. Haden's collaboration with Pat Metheny, Beyond The Missouri Sky, via my father's account with a Russian underground music emporium, I discovered that he has a song called The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.
I am in love with the kind of bullshitty shroom-dream kind of poetic stylings that title implies. Who sits down and writes a title like that? Who can stare the prospect of being a cliche straight in the face and say "Ah, fuck it. This is deep and the world needs to hear my thoughts." Or perhaps these poetic stylists have an impenetrable denial built up against any possiblity of their being full of shit. Where do they get this denial? May I have some, please?

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Friday, March 14, 2008

she vants to be alooon

Was changing my clothes after work today and gave my shirt the old sniff test to determine re-wearability. It smelled of desperation and poverty. This job is getting to me today.

So I'm taking to my bed.
More accurately, I'm off to the couch with a mug of Edy's Tagalong ice cream and that movie about ping pong (or table tennis, whatever) that has Christopher Walken in it. I shall emerge when there is no more abject poverty in America. Or maybe just when my butt goes numb. Whichever happens first.

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Channel 13 I-Team Investigates:

Malibu rum. Makes you think of some nice gentleman, bronzed by the sun, who sits beneath one of those palm trees on the label, making rum for you and me.
The label even claims that the bottle contains the spirit of the Carribean.

bottle front

However a closer look by this inquisitive reporter, with your best interests in mind, reveals an import location a little closer to home.

Slide2

We suggested a redesigned label to more accurately protray the source of the rum. One possible label:

Slide1

The Channel 13 I-Team will report periodically on the status of the Malibu redesign. We're on the case!

Presentation1

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So proud.

Anotha dolla earned. But I thought we outgrew this kind of thing in the 3rd grade?
(There was a sale on black bars, so I bought a bunch.)

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

capitalizzzzm

*The Faculty-Resident Behavioral Curriculum Mini-Retreat is scheduled for March 9th.
*I received an e-mail today asking for my opinion on the draft 402b policy.
*I need to call Simpkins in Accounting to get my 339 re-routed to the PLS821.
I made that last one up, but this jobby job brings me ever closer each day to this:

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