Everyone, absolutely everyone, is making it up as they go along.
Those people who look like they have it together - just as clueless as the rest of us.
Those people who've ascribed to some rigid set of rules to live by - they're bumbling along too.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Las Vegas Sallie was supporting me tonight while I was charting
Me: I should have stuck my finger up her butt...
Las Vegas Sallie: [strained look of surprise and polite interest]
Me: She had this really chunky--
Las Vegas Sallie: No.No.No.No.No. Keep it inside. Keep it deep deep inside. Sometimes silence ISN'T violence.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Tail End Of An E-Mail I'm Proud To Have Written
We really can get along with alien species. Kumbaya and such.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
From another time
The pirating news coming from the Middle East is so surreal. Couldn't this have been printed in a newspaper a couple hundred years ago, instead of posted to the Yahoo news website today?
NEW DELHI – An Indian naval vessel sank a suspected pirate "mother ship" in the Gulf of Aden and chased two attack boats into the night, officials said Wednesday, as separate bands of brigands seized Thai and Iranian ships in the lawless seas.
And don't you think the little grey AP writer was tickled to finally slip brigand into an article?
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Lil Luvables Stuffer Fluffy Factory 4 Pack
Am having a v.busy morning watching Kewlopolis on CBS. Just finished watching Cake. Was already feeling a tad negative, and this shit isn't helping. Hell in a handbasket, people. For example:
"Lil Luvables Stuffer Fluffy Factory 4 Pack. Stuff your bear with love and care with Lil Luvables Fluffy Factory. Add a lil wish and then you're done, the adoption certificate is proof of fun. Now you have your fluffy friends, collect them, dress them, the fun never ends. Includes Lil Luvables Fluffy Factory with storage drawer, 3 adoption certificates, 3 bear skins, 1 safety zipper key, 1 brush, fluffing, 1 stuffing tool and lil wishes. No batteries needed. Assembly required. For ages 4 and up."
Um, wow. Fluffy factory to puppy factory to puppy mill. So that's bad.
Creating a friend for yourself out of store-bought items. Storing your friends' skins in a drawer. Inflating a friend by hooking her butt up to a machine. Using nonexistent words such as Lil. Oh dear. Handbasket, people. It's a pull the covers over my head kind of day.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Malt Worker's Lung. Sounds like a cool disease, doesn't it?
And a cool job. "Oh, me? I'm a malt worker. And you? An accountant. How interesting."
It turns out to be more properly called:
Extrinsic allergic alveolitis
From http://www.agius.com/hew/resource/lung.htm
"Extrinsic allergic alveolitis can be caused by sensitisation to many organic dusts mainly fungal spores, e.g. farmer's lung and malt worker's lung. It tends to affect the respiratory units of the lung rather than the conducting airways and may have 'flu' like symptoms in addition. In some respects it is similar to humidifier fever which might be caused by sensitisation to amoebae or algae.
Inhalation of oil mists may cause asthma, airways irritation, lipid pneumonia or other conditions depending on their composition."
So yeah, kind of serious actually. Sorry, dudes.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
two quotes from today's media intake
Soup was the original meling pot.
-Alana Sugar, Whole Foods podcast
Doog! It ain't got no genitals!
-Vinnie, Doogie Howser
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