When Gore Vidal was asked to be godfather to Johnny Carson's kid, his reply (made 10x cooler because it was sent by telegram)
"Always a godfather, never a god."
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
was told today that there's a conspiracy made up of doctors who communicate through phones and computers about how to keep all of us down. when i pointed out that i work in the medical field and i'm not in this conspiracy, the patient told me that i'm a good person so they left me out.
i was strangely touched.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Apparently Johnny Carson at one point issued a list of answers that journalists could use for any questions they liked. The list:
1. Yes, I did.
2. Not a bit of truth in that rumor.
3. Only twice in my life, both times on Saturday.
4. I can do either, but I prefer the first.
5. No. Kumquats.
6. I can't answer that question.
7. Toads and tarantulas.
8. Turkestan, Denmark, Chile, and the Komandorskie Islands.
9. As often as possible, but I'm not very good at it yet. I need much more practice.
10. It happened to some old friends of mine, and it's a story I'll never forget.
He really covers all the bases, doesn't he? Wouldn't it be cool to walk into a job interview and hand over these answers? Or a first date? Or a meeting with a new colleague? The possible places to use the list are endless.
(Learned of this in afore-referred-to book by Kenneth Tynan.)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
So I'm reading this book by Kenneth Tynan. It's a delightful book in which he chronicles rare geniuses he has known and supped with. However he seems to have spent so long competing with others with huge egos that he is completely unaware of how abnormal and small his world is. So with a breezy laugh he writes the following:
"You could list their qualities in parallel columns:
Gielgud Olivier
Air Earth
Poet Peasant
Mind Heart
Spiritual Animal
Feminine Masculine
John Philip Kemble Edmund Kean
Introvert Extrovert
Jewel Metal
Claret Burgundy"
Yes, Kenneth, that makes it all clear. Claret v. Burgundy. Do you ever wonder, Kenneth, why people stare blearily at you when you try to make chat on the train? Poor Kenneth. I think it genuinely confuses him. (Or it did, until he died 26 July 1980.)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
targeted advertising
apparently the software in the walgreens targeted coupon generator decided that after a day of combing the nits out of my family's hair, i'd want to relax with 12 oz of walgreens coffee.
p.s. you just scratched your head, didn't you? i did too. all day. so did my patients. the ones with the resistant lice. yes, resistant to traditional lice treatments and most insecticides that are safe for humans. you just scratched again, didn't you? me too.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Phil Collins is still my main man for overwrought lyrics and delivery, but I'm branching out to others like Mr. Mister for further teenage-style emoting.
Today I've found a new band to adore. And man, do they suck. But in a delightful way.
You may recognize their song Hands to Heaven, but Will The Circle Be Unbroken is also awesome.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Coolest Monkey
My headboard was big and black and a little overwhelming, so with Las Vegas Sallie's assistance I applied some vinyl stickers to it this weekend. I love how it came out.
Next up is to apply the godwit stickers to the other side. So they can watch me sleep.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Despite my best efforts to resist, I love LOLcats. I spent some procrastination time today reading Anil Dash's respectful analysis of the LOL culture. And then I followed some links to these much less erudite but fucking hilarious creations:
*nice to see unguarded moments of joy in these guys.
*i wish i could have more pity for the poor woman, and i did up until about 3 months ago.
*never thought of the similarities before.
*the wise dude i pay to listen to me once a week often reminds me of the difference between childlike and childish. childlike is great, childish is something to be left behind. the humor in this one is definitely childish. but it made me laugh out loud in the cold dark office i'm sitting in. (self pity is never very appealing. so why do we engage in it so often?)
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
dinner
bowl of canned refried beans with cheese and salsa on top + glass of milk + two calcium tabs = one healthy babe
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